Once trust fund punks lose their savings they are reduced to
riding a fixed gear bike, the same means of travel they had when
they were in middle school. Their current bike build is actually
less sophisticated than the ones they grew up on, but hipsters
will always sacrifice the convenience of brakes for fashion.
One of the most pretentious of all hipsters, fixies are
primarily located in Williamsburg, Portland, San Francisco and
wherever else snobs congregate these days. They tend to hang out
at cafés, bike shops and anywhere else they can turn their nose
at other hipsters. Usually enrolled in some form of printmaking
or photography at their art school, the fixie spends more time
complaining about things rather than creating them.
One should not confuse a nonathletic fixie with actual racers or
bike messengers. The latter can spot a fixed gear hipster from a
block away, recognizing their bike as just another fashion
accessory until they move onto the next trend. Usually a vegan,
the street smart cyclist weighs no more than 100 pounds when
soaking wet and gets his sole caloric intake from PBRs and
A fixie longs for a Bianchi Pista with drop handlebars but
instead will custom order their ride from Urban Outfitters using
their employee discount. The Fixie likes to tell everyone they
are saving the world by having “one less car” but ultimately
they just can't afford one.
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