The Nintendocore fan refuses
to let go of the video games from his youth, however, his dedication
leaves him trapped in an 8-bit world in his parents basement without
a warp pipe to escape.
This old school cellar
dweller won't touch a controller that has more than two buttons,
even after all of his friends and game developers themselves, have
abandoned ship. Don't ask these retro gamers to share their
joypad, old titles were rarely multiplayer and you can bet his
social skills are lacking because of it. Time away from his console
is usually spent rereading back issues of Nintendo Power or
soldering old RF cables together. The music in his playlist
consists entirely of instruments from the nintendo universe, such as
a hacked Game Boy, Mario Paint and songs he's composed on his
Ocarina iPhone app.
If this pixel pusher ever
has a problem operating something, he will attempt to fix it in the
only way he knows how: flip it over, flick it with his pointer
finger, then blow in it. This poor gamer suffers from a chronic
blistering “NES thumb” from endless Super Mario Brothers time
trials, but at least he's got a top rated YouTube video to show for
it. In the event that his current system fails him, he keeps an
unopened NES in a safety deposit box, courtesy of his parents.
The Nintendocore fan dreams
of one day becoming a game tester or perhaps even a reviewer,
however, after a 20 year 8-bit coma, adjusting to the complex
controllers of today is near impossible. He will eventually follow
his destiny, become a plumber and defend the original works of
Shigeru Miyamoto to his death.
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